Tuesday, December 4, 2012


I am 20 years old. I am currently about 2 semesters away from getting my degree. I am 2 weeks away from the end of this semester. I am in the midst of making big choices.

Here is the thing, when I think about life paths I should be taking right now...I feel at peace with a lot of possibilities. I feel as though people will be guided in and out of life like a divine "breath of fresh air"  regardless of where or what I am. But here is the other thing, I want so desperately to do what is RIGHT. And I want my God to know how deeply I feel this desire, I want Him to know how it grips me from the very top of my brain to the very edges of my tippy-toes. But I want that RIGHT thing to just hit me like a light, so everything is perfectly bright and clear what I am suppose to do RIGHT now.

Its hard. Its hard to find the very perfectly RIGHT in a world full of, "Well this is a good thing too, you have lots of good choices." 

At my very core, I guess I just want Him to know how would do anything He required of me in this life. I wander sometimes, if that is all He needs. But I also want my children and grandchildren to understand it too. I want to look back on my life and say it was pretty and unique and most importantly, RIGHT.  

Sometimes I think that we do "live as leaves; delicate and lovely paper things" willing ourselves to be blown away in any great gust. 

I guess it takes time to feel the RIGHT wind, and when it comes, to let ourselves get taken up in its flurry. I just want to find that breeze, there are a lot choices you know.